Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm passing your future prison.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
