I think I died a long time ago.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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