Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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