Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
