you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
