Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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