THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
