you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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