Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We left an ass print on the piano.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
