no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
