suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
