what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize