It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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