We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
