"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
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Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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