His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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