roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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