I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
