His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Someone came in the potted fern
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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