I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
