It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
