he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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