Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
