I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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