I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
