we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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