Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize