So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
either way he was missing a nipple.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.