mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
