okay pat passed out under dana's car
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
