Already got asked if we're dating
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
