I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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