why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
