woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
