I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
