Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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