His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
