U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize