I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
