# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
two words: eviction party
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
