What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
