i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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