I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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