Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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