I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
