You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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