My underwear smells like fireworks.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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