I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
