someone owes me an orgasm
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
