we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
