yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize