Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Bring me that man meat
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