Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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