Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
