the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
