I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We have started to decorate penises.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
