Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
