And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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