worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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