the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
how drunk are you?
Several
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
