I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize