I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
