Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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