Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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