My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
