We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
